The Iron Fist of Haruhi Suzumiya
by Summer Dawn Ravenson
Summary: Also known as Suzumiya Haruhi no Tekken. The title says it all as if I apologize for not including Tekken... oh well just read and review because it's a cross-over between Haruhi and Martin Mystery!
1. Invincible Disaster

**DISCLAIMER:** The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is a trademark of Tanigawa Nagaru, Martin Mystery is a trademark of Marathon and Tekken is a trademark of Namco Bandai. Plus, SpongeBob SquarePants is a trademark of Viacom and Nickelodeon, alongside Stephen Hillenberg. This is just for entertainment, NOT for money. Got it? Good.

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**The Iron Fist of Haruhi Suzumiya  
(Suzumiya Haruhi no Tekken)**

**I also do not own the ff.:** Oddbodz

There is this person who wants to know more about aliens—and BTW who the hell is that!?

It's Haruhi Suzumiya!

_"I wonder why there is weird stuff that invades the normal… hmm…"_

Martin Mystery is writing an essay while he analyzes his own experiment for the composition of RRRROYAL jelly.

Martin hates to write an essay very much except if that would be a story made by himself. He really wants to quit doing his task since he wanted to fool around again with his dear stepsister. He also hates to experiment things except if he can only use his watch. Oh, well...

_"Shucks! I think this stupid experiment is boring,"_ says Martin.

Martin hates Chemistry—so much that he wanted to quit. Or maybe he wanted to cut classes, that's all…

Until one day, a very young girl accelerated in his batch.

"WTF Martin—i-it-it's… it's…"

"Now who is it this time!?" asked Martin.

"It's the star girl!" said the gang.

"No, it is the star girl, you idiots! It's…," said Martin.

The gang was surprised when they saw a silhouette of a girl with this signature "ribbon-invaded" headband.

"NO! That's a shadow, you creep!" said Martin.

The guys gushed together when they saw…

"It's Suzumiya Haruhi!" the boys said altogether like a chorus.

"Yeah right," said Martin.

"Hello guys, I'm Haruhi Suzumiya and I love aliens!"

The boys murmured and wondered why the heck should Haruhi love aliens.

"Hey, I'm Martin Mystery, nice to meet you," Martin smirked.

Haruhi pointed to Martin and said, "Are you the guy who solves for weird phenomena!?"

Martin said, "OMG, no!!!"

"Well, then," said Haruhi. "I think you should come with me!"

"No, wait!" said Martin.

"You're coming with me, Martin," said Haruhi, pulling the blond guy.

After Haruhi pulled Martin to a certain place, she went to her own club, the SOS Brigade.

"Here we go!" said Haruhi.

Martin entered the room as he was being pulled. After that, he was pushed to his seat.

_"OMG, WTF!?"_ said Martin. _"I think this is a very BAD idea of pushing me through my seat! How dare that brat did that to me!?"_

"Take your seat, my Prince Charming," said Haruhi.

_"How dare she call me her 'Prince Charming'?"_ Martin wondered.

Martin took his own seat and listened to Haruhi.

"Okay, guys!" said Haruhi. "Today is the day when we make lots and lots of stories and lies about the REAL, normal world! Our special guests for today are the Oddbodz!"

_"This is so lame. How could a girl like her mock me off like hmm…,"_ said Martin.

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The next day…

It was another day for Martin to move on with his life as a detective… however, M.O.M. is calling him again.

"M.O.M.!?" asked Martin.

"Okay, you have a special assignment with Diana and Java. I think this is related to an heiress fan," M.O.M. said suspiciously.

"What should be your reason—I mean what is the purpose of this mission!?" asked Martin.

"She was kidnapped by this girl who has a very signature headband and wears this stupid bunny outfit that is just like hmm… yeah a stripper," said M.O.M.

"Where could I find her!?" asked Martin.

"Hmm… I think in your new school, sorry to say that," said M.O.M.

"I'll be right there!" said Martin.

"No, wait! Diana and Java are also there!" said M.O.M.

"Okay no time gotta go," said Martin.

Martin was so devastated to go back to school for a special mission given him by M.O.M. It was not until Diana and Java were also waiting for him in the lobby.

Diana stomped her foot very quick.

"Ahihi," Martin smirked.

"Well, well, well, now who do we have here!?" said Diana.

"WHATTA---!?" said Martin.

"We were waiting for you all day long and yet you were ABSENT!!!"

"Well, I was just—err, alright," said Martin.

"Now, explain!" said Diana.

"Do you know this girl with a headband who kidnapped an heiress fan!?" asked Martin.

"Uhh—she's an accelerated girl who loves aliens and err—loves the extraordiany," said Diana.

"Hmm… extraordina—HEY!!! That's Haruhi!" said Martin.

"She's your—classmate!?" asked Diana.

"Oh, yes and she's a freak," said Martin. "She even pulled me LITERALLY to her own club. What a psycho she is."

So, Martin came up with an idea that he wanted to make his new book, "The Brutal Death of Haruhi Suzumiya."

He went straight the the S.O.S. Brigade and found a girl who is tied up.

"Are you the *****?" asked Martin.

"MMMMMP!" said the girl.

Martin untied her and the girl had spoken.

"NO! I'm not a ***** ****** fan. BTW, I'm Lili," said the girl.

"You mean you—the heiress of the Rochefort Enterprises!?" asked Martin. "Wow, that's great!"

Lili said, "Haruhi is really getting on my nerves. I don't get it—whether she wants something different or what."

Martin said, "No way, you're saved."

Lili went out of the room as Martin escorts her. It was so humiliating because she is wearing a masquerade outfit!!!

When Haruhi came back to her club room, she was shocked that Lili is gone.

"Now who the hell freed her!?"

The trio with Lili escaped silently as they approach their next destination: The Center.

M.O.M. said, "This is good! I think you've done your mission. Now, the next is to—shame the S.O.S. Brigade."

"Now what is this 'brigade' all about!?" asked Diana.

"Ahh, that's the most STEWPEED club I'd ever seen," said Martin. "Not to mention those freaks joining the paranormal—unlike me who is MORE professional!"

"Don't be so boastful, Martin. I think it's not good to do that—I mean, this is like the worst UGH! Come on, let's put all of them to shame!" said Di.

So the trio came up with an idea together with Lili about the plan scheme. First, they made another story about her and another one and more until they came up with an idea of entitling it as "Suzumiya Haruhi no Kouban" or called as "The Police Box of Haruhi Suzumiya."

"No!" said Lili.

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The following morning, Lili created a scheme to attack Haruhi and her own club.

"I think this is it! I shall now declare my revenge against that freak!" said Lili.

Martin and the rest of the team has set up their scheme to shame the S.O.S. Brigade into a whole wide disaster. Bombs are almost everywhere to explode anything and everything-- except that Haruhi is unbelievably invincible.

"Let's start the game guys!" said Martin. "Let's freat out some suckers."

Their secret agenda is aout to start...

"On the count of three... you have to press the bomb right now!" said Martin.

The bomb exploded... into the CLUB!?

After the plan happened, there was a girl walking through the mist and dust. It was-- it was...

IT'S THE INVINCIBLE HARUHI SUZUMIYA!!!

"Oh, noes!" said Martin.

"You got that right!" said Diana.

"No, sis, LOOK!!!" said Martin.

Diana freaked out and said, "NO WAY!!! A girl with the bunny outfit!?"

TSUZUKU...

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In the next episode, what will happen as Haruhi proved herself invincible? Find out in the next episode of my fanfic, "The Iron Fist of Haruhi Suzumiya"!

**Please read and review!**


	2. Haruhi Conquers Bikini Bottom vs Lili

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own any of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Tekken, Martin Mystery and SpongeBob SquarePants.

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Last time in **The Iron Fist of Haruhi Suzumiya**...

"No, sis, LOOK!!!" said Martin.

Diana freaked out and said, "NO WAY!!! A girl with the bunny outfit!?"

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NOTE: Haruhi didn't transform into a giant.

Meanwhile, Lili was about to go dive to Bikini Bottom for an important warning.

As she dives through the bottom of the sea, she saw Bikini Bottom and there she said, "All sea creatures! Brace yourselves down because there is a creature that'll invade your city!"

Creatures big and small ran for their lives because of what Lili said.

On the other hand, Haruhi is heading to the ocean.

The T.V. soon turned on and the fish said, "Bikini Bottom will be attacked by an invincible human being who had break down the city of Townsville!"

It is said that the Powerpuff Girls could no longer defeat Suzumiya's invincibility.

However, one of the SpongeBob's buddies is not afraid of defeating Haruhi.

"I'm afraid of no invaders! I think I can easily defeat this girl right away!" said Sandy.

Sandy prepared her Frisbee and threw it to Haruhi. However, Haruhi has high instincts so what she did is to catch the Frisbee.

In the Center, Martin and the rest of the team had no other idea to think of.

"What should we do?" asked Diana.

"Geez, I have no other ideas to think of," said Martin. "I think this would be the last."

"Don't give up!" said Diana. "Try and try!!!"

Martin is still thinking—but there are no more ideas... however...

Lili came in the Center.

"WHAT THE—how did you come in here!?" asked Martin.

"It's all thanks to M.O.M.," said Lili.

"You know how to fight, right?" asked Martin.

"Indeed," said Lili.

So the rest of the team decided to create another plan against Haruhi. It was only then Martin can think of someone who can really fight through a single fist.

The team, alongside Lili decided to go to Bikini Bottom. They've searched for the cue island where Bikini Bottom can be found...

They saw Haruhi attacking the city.

As Haruhi attacks the city, she didn't stop until a voice said, "Hold it right there, brat!"

"Did somebody called me brat!?" said Haruhi.

"Yes, and it's me," said Lili.

Haruhi was so frustrated that she saw Lili.

"Oh, so it's you—the victim, my prey who escaped through that spired-hair guy!!!" said Haruhi.

"Oh, geez—you're so... pathetic," said Lili.

"How should I be pathetic?" said Haruhi, hanging her hair. "You know, some people like you doesn't really know how to be matured enough."

"You should be punished for what you've done everywhere-- last time you invaded Townsville and now you're invading poor Bikini Bottom. It's time...," said Lili.

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The fight now begins...

Round One, fight!

Lili performed her Matterhorn stunt and Haruhi was on mid-air. While Haruhi is on mid-air, Lili performed the Delicate Uprising Shortcut (df, 2) and punched Haruhi five times mid-air until K.O.

"K.O., Lili wins!"

Round Two, fight!

Lili punched Haruhi five times and performed the Delicate Uprising Shortcut. Lili again punched Haruhi mid-air until Haruhi falls to the ground.

Haruhi stepped back and tried to avoid Lili's hits. However, she was very unlucky that Lili performed the Rafflesia against her and...

"K.O., Lili wins!!!"

Haruhi was lying in the ground, unconscious.

However, Martin and the team are speechless until...

"Way to go, Lili!" said Martin! "You saved the day!"

Lili said, "It was you..."

Haruhi woke up and said, "Where the hell am I?"

Lili said, "Haha! You're K., LOSER!"

At the end, Lili showed off her tongue while mouth is closed and gestured the "L" meaning "loser."

Haruhi said, "What!? I lose!? NOOOOOOOO WAYYYYYY!!!"

She then cried and went back home.

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Once again, the day is saved... and thanks to... Lili!!!

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Like the story? Please **Read and Review**!


	3. The Clash Between Two Heartthrobs

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own anything and everything... A.U.

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It was a fine morning. Birds chirping, butterflies, coloring the skies... oh paradise, I wish you could be MINE!!!

However, things are not the way they are...

"WHAT THE F*** HAS HAPPENED TO ME!?" Haruhi cried in tears, with a big face and starry eyes? Yeah, kinda exaggerated style.

Meanwhile, Martin Mystery had another—tiring mission.

"Can't you just stop telling us those missions, SHEESH!!!" said Martin. "I think we're sick and tired of that brat!"

"Come on," said M.O.M. "She's the only one I can think of."

"Why Haruhi—overall that brat!?" asked Martin.

The rest of the team are tired of arguing with Haruhi. Nobody, not even Diana had an idea of Haruhi's psychological problems.

"Haruhi's an annoying brat!" said Martin, walking around, showing his palms and raising his shoulders. "All she wants is something—extraordinary, something bizarre like monsters, aliens, EVERYTHING!!! She's the one doing BAD stuff such as harassing people she doesn't even know!"

"Alright, if that's what you want then I'll just send Lili to do all the business," said M.O.M.

Martin showed his palm to M.O.M. and said, "Wait! I think you're pushing Lili too far from the limit! It's not a good idea—you see, she's just not that good to handle those kind of stuff."

NEXT MISSION: How to solve a clash between two magical heartthrobs fighting together?

There is a clash between two magical heartthrobs: Harry Potter and Edward Cullen.

Malfoy isn't just a rival of Harry. In fact, someone who is a blood-sucker is also sarcastically obsessed with the lightning-scarred magician.

Edward thinks that Harry is an annoying nerd while Harry thinks that Edward is somehow "Asian" because he's pale... and only Bella touches his skin.

"I don't think those two will ever get along," said Martin. "You see, Prince Harry Potter is a magician. Count Edward Cullen is a vampire. So, what'd you expect? Get along? NO WAY!!!"

It wasn't until Haruhi welcomed the two heartthrobs in her club. She was so happy that the S.O.S. Brigade is now becoming a successful hit in Japan.

"Welcome to the S.O.S. Brigade, magician and vampire!" said Haruhi.

Edward was annoyed and said, "Whatever."

It wasn't until the two heartthrobs get along with each other. The reason: Haruhi's bossy and arrogant.

"That girl is such a bossy and arrogant brat! Well, where the hell can we find aliens, espers and the paranormal, huh!?" asked Edward.

"Hey, I'm no esper!" said Harry.

They're just in one corner of the room when Haruhi didn't know that she's also annoying—for Edward and Harry.

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For those who hated both Harry and Edward, there are other people who hated Haruhi herself-- even her weirdest self is not being praised. Now how could an expected one can be doing things the wrong way? It's like boy meets girl and there's no magic at all.

Now this is the problem of both Harry and Edward. They want to change Haruhi but there is no secret formula nor magic. There's nothing more they can think of except that the fact that Haruhi wants everything MAGIC.

"There's no magic in a BAD person," said Harry.

Haruhi again is mad. She is about to punch Harry until Edward bit her.

"Ouch! That's gonna hurt," said Haruhi.

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Soon, Martin and the rest of the team came into the S.O.S. Brigade room where the two guys are present.

"Oh, so you're magicians," said Martin.

Harry said, "Then why did you ask?"

It wasn't until Haruhi got mad again and wanted more and MOAR!!!  


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~TSUZUKU~

Like the story? Please **Read and Review**!


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